Badly in love

I’m badly in love right now. With whom? Sorry, it’s not with a person, but rather with what. Right now, I say that I am badly in love with writing. Yes! I am badly in love with writing, for this hobby of mine is transformed into a passion.

Before, writing, for me was just a simple compliance to some requirements given by our teachers for some particular subjects, such as Filipino and English. It was a task that I should do in order to pass the subject. But time passed, and from compliance, it developed into a hobby. Writing became my simple manner to express myself, to have such thoughts of mine be a work of art and be persevered for life.

As I recall, I started writing in our native language, Filipino. I began with poems; free verse or haiku. Then poems became essays, and all the more, stories. But, all of it was in the context of compliance to the requirements and assignments for some subject matters. I still remember that when I’m done with one, I’ll read it to my self and submit it. But, it does not give me any contentment. Then, without the idea of writing for compliance, I made one for my self, with our language, and when I was done with it, I read it by myself. That time, I felt fulfillment and contentment from within me, brought by this work of mine. Then, I continued writing in our language, and soon on our secondary language, English. I realized that there is much more to develop in myself, in terms of the skill, I still have to do more. So, I hone the skill, not contented with what I am right now, I continue to write, ask the help of others, mostly their comment and corrections on my work, and re-write my work . It is then that this hobby of writing becomes a passion with in me. I realized it when there came some time that thoughts stream through my mind, when hunger for paper and pen came and the desire to have those thoughts preserved for eternity also follows.

As this passion grows, the love and desire to develop myself also grows and I promise to myself that I will write, and will always write to express what’s within me.

Who am I?

I am John Clemens B. Texon, the eldest son of Ferdinand and Ana Marie Texon…
I may say that I am a son who is not that good and not that bad, a discerner of God’s call, an altar server, a poet, short story writer and teller, a soccer and table tennis player, a choir member, an actor, a drummer, a fanatic of Parokya ni Edgar and Kamikazee, a friend, best friend but not anymore can be a boyfriend. But all the more, I am a son of God.

A good shepherd

Last Monday, Bro. Jun, sdb called me and Ronel for there was a lost lamb in front of their house (The Salesian's Residence). He told us to help him to bring back that lamb to its herd. So what Ronel and I did is to get that lamb and carry it. Then, I was the one to be able to caught it and carry it. While I was carrying it, Bro. Jun and Ronel lead the way. We went to the place of Tatang Jess, the school farmer, thinking that the herd but he was not there. Good thing, Boni was there so he told us that the herd was in the football field near that area. So, we went there and lead that little lamb back to its herd. Since, I was carrying it; I was the one who was privileged to carry it back to its herd. Then we left with such gladness because we were able to help a creature of God, even though we were late for dinner.

After, what happened, Ronel started calling me a good shepherd who looks and carries his lost sheep. Then I thought of Jesus who really was the GOOD SHEPHERD who did the same for every one of us.

That event was really inspiring and very helpful for reflection for me, who is aspiring to be like a good shepherd like our LORD JESUS CHRIST.

barkada...

this was my inspiration for the short story I made for our Creative Writing class...

There was a couple of friend in a barkada – a guy and a gal. Their barkada was indeed intimate to each other; they care and love one another as siblings do. But because of this closeness with in their barkada, the couple became much intimate and caring for one another until they tend to be interested on certain things that only the two of them know among the group. As their friendship developed, the gap among them became narrow as they do things beyond the usual like they tease each other more than they did before, talking only by themselves. Even though they were still joining the group, it made them hard to express their feelings to each other that are sometimes keep them apart from each other, playing safe from their emotions and towards their barkada. But their feelings were uncontrollable, even though, they act like that in the eyes of their friends; they still find their selves in love with each other. As their feelings to each other deepen and strengthen, an old fellow tease them,”Why not become boyfriend and girlfriend?” they looked to each other, with a look that has so meanings for each of them. And due to it, their friendship turned into a mutual understanding until they made the joke into real. They fell in love with each other, even though they know to each other that they were waiting and searching for their right someone. They act lovers even if they should not. And they were afraid, fearing what will their friends say, cause the group only know that they were just became close till some bounds. And as their state deepens, they don’t even want to lose each other anymore and halt that love between them. Stopping it entails sadness, hardships and pains between them. And when their friendship turned into love, letting go becomes a dilemma. And then they became firm of their decision to continue that love facing and taking every challenge with in it. But their relationship went into so much problems and difficulties making them to end up in separate ways.

A Reflection

“A requirement turned ENRICHMENT”

Watching movie this Saturday never came to my mind because of so many requirements that I have to do, so during that day, I planned already which I have to do first among my list, and I saw my requirement at World Folklore, our class with Kuya Juvelan. And I have decided to do it first. After our lunch this day, I saw written on the board these words, “VTR: Freedom Writers, Highly Recommended”, and below it was these, “3^rd year Creative Writing students are required to watch.” Seeing those words, my plans for this day were shattered and adjusted. I felt bad by it but I said to myself, “its alright changes do come.” So upon letting it happen, letting those changes goes, questions streamed into my mind such as, what kind of movie is that? Who were the characters? What’s the story all about? Is it related to our subject?

Seeing the title, it gave me a hint that its all about writers and writing, but what kind of writers? I told to myself. And that’s my last question for that movie.

VTR (movie watching term in the seminary) time came and we went to Tanghalan (seminary’s all purpose hall). I placed myself behind the crowd, seating near Enzo, Whil and Del. When everyone’s settled, we immediately started the film. And I focused on seeing it.

The film started with chaotic scenes such us guns shooting, flames and smokes. Chaos, real chaos was depicted at the start of the film. And it was followed by a job scene interview. And from there the story pf the film started to flow.

The film was all about a new hired English teacher who has a class filled that all her students were gang members. So during the start of her classes, chaos always happens among her students. Seeing that, she started breaking the groups in her class and challenged her self to make her students united, and to know her students, these guys outside the classroom. And one day, she started giving off journals to her students and instructing them to just write, write everything that they want to write about. And asking them to put it in a cabinet if they want it to be read by her. At the beginning it hard for her and the students, but one night when she checked the cabinet all of her students’ journals were there, and seeing them, she started reading it one by one. Through these journals, she came to know them one by one for they write more about themselves and they opened their selves to her (I really like how they depict that part of the movie while she was reading each journal, as if they were talking to her). And through this method, she was able to capture the hearts of her students until they developed much affection to her and even to the point that they even don’t want to have another English teacher besides her.

The film, for me, was really superb. The story was awesome, as it focused on the teacher-students relationship and how the students became neophyte writers. I really admire the teacher as she courageously face this kind of students and harnessing them to become better and turning them into FREEDOM WRITERS.

I was able to relate on the story as I find myself writing poems and prose right now. Some maybe requirements but most of them were my enrichments.

After the film, I said to my self, I also was a FREEDOM WRITER – writing freely to express myself, to bring out that creative being inside of me. And as I write, I want it be read by those people concern or just want to know about me, just like the students did.

An Interview to a friend

The Voice that calls within…

Seminary is a place where future clergies are formed. This is place for discerning God’s call. It is house for some people. And for some it is a piece of heaven here on earth. But why some people enter the seminary? This is a common question for all. So to have an answer to that question and some other questions, I interviewed a seminarian from Don Bosco College Seminary Canlubang.

Our interviewee has graduated from Don Bosco Technical Institute, Makati. He is a former Don Bosco Youth Center member in the same school. He is fond of playing basketball, soccer and mostly billiards. He was a former soccer player of Don Bosco Technical Institute. He is now in the seminary as a junior seminarian. And he is Ryan Lorenzo Singson.

I interviewed him about his life in the seminary and asked some questions about it. I asked him, “Why did you enter the seminary?” He answered it with a smile on his face and said, “I believe that I entered the seminary for a purpose, but for some the reason is not acceptable.” He stopped and added, “Like a child, I’m here to fulfill my dreams. A dream to be a superhero; to save souls.” Then I asked him about his motivation his to enter the seminary. He said that at first, he just want to fulfill his dreams but realizing it’s not enough and not accepted by some. He continued to enter the seminary. Now he is more motivated by the companionship of the other seminarians because even though there were hardships, he was able to surpass it with the aid of his batch mate and fellow seminarians. After that question, I asked him, “Are you decided to finish this journey?” Then he thinks and answered, “No, by now I’m not decided, that’s why I’m here to discern. But for me, I would really like to finish this journey of priesthood.” My next question, “how do you find the seminary?” He answered it with gladness and then told me that it was great, he enjoyed in there even if there are lot of hardships, he like in the seminary. Then I ended my interview with this question, “What is your message for those who want to enter the seminary?” He think of it silently and said,” Follow your dreams, listen to what your heart says.” Then quoted a line from a song saying, “Follow the voice that calls within…” And concluded by these words,” The only thing that matter is following your heart and eventually you’ll get it right.” With that we I end the interview.

It is really good to know what make a person decide to enter the seminary. And I hope with those answers of that seminarian, you were inspired. And then someday, you are also sharing those words to other person. Or might be answering those question with a great smile in your heart.

A Look back

Three years have already passed after my high school. And as this academic year start, I want to have a look back, into another chapter of my life, my high school life.

According to a song of Sharon Cuneta, “… oh! My high school, kay saya…” it depicts how her high school life was.

And as I have this look back, I would attest to it, basing it from my high school experiences. High school, for me, was really happy and joyful like what she had mentioned or even more, but it also became daring as I went higher every year. At times, it became gloomy because of the pains and sorrows that it brought into me. It was also the part of my life that was filled with so much growth, in terms of maturity; in knowledge as a preparation for higher education, and also losses, in those childish acts I still had. But what really is worth remembering in that part of my life was the FRIENDSHIP – the bond I was able to develop among my co-students and some of my teachers. And that FRIENDSHIP I have acquired and nourished during those times was quite admirable, because of the bond that developed among us, after becoming classmates for 4 consecutive years (I was in section 1 of my whole high school days, that’s why, the set of my classmates that I had underwent minimal changes, some remained and some transferred to other section). And for the reason of our friendship, I trekked high school life not leaving just a pair of footprints, but instead a number of them. I walked through the bitter valleys and smooth plains of it not alone but with hands and comrades accompanying me, by helps and cheers given by those close to me.

As the years went by, fourth year came and graduation is at its peak, our FRIENDSHIP became stronger and turned out into a BROTHERHOOD. And on graduation day, goodbyes are then said. For each have already chosen a path to take, but still BROTHERHOOD will last.

“ To all my classmates and teachers at San Antonio National High School, THANK YOU. It was great having you in my life. I will never forget what we shared together.”

The Will of God

“Your will be done…” this are the words that Jesus the Christ said during his agony in the garden of Gethsemane. He leaves everything to God the Father. With those words he is willing to obey His Father’s will. Due to that obedience and trust he suffered and died on the cross for our sake. With that gospel, I can say that the will of God is a very thing to find and follow. It is the only thing that would make us happy in this world. You, have you let the will of God to work on your life?

It is really hard to find and follow God’s will for us due to many distractions and sometimes options to choose in our world today. But it will make us happy and contented when we are able to find it and follow it. It is God’s grace for us to follow it. And with that will you will know your purpose on this world. But as you find it, you are going to have many test, difficulties and trials that might move you not to follow it. And the good thing is to overcome them not alone rather with the help form God. With that will you can do anything under his grace, you can overcome everything and fulfill them with great joy. That’s how God work for all of us and that’s how to work with the will of God.

As a seminarian, I may say that his will is the one of my power and strength to stay and persevere in my vocation. Although I have my family, friends, batch mates and formators, God is my best companion in this journey, so following his will would make fulfill this dream. And in his will, I’m happy and contented even there are so many struggles, difficulties and fears to overcome. Now I’m three years here in seminary and I’m really happy and strong working with His will.

“Not as I will, but your will be done…” beautiful words from the Christ whom He made first and then being transferred to us. Now let us make this beautiful word from Him also be beautiful for us. These are the words that we should always remember in times of problems or even in our decisions. These words should be in each one of because in Him, everything has meaning.

What I want to write about….

I don’t know what topic is good to talk or write about at this moment, but let me talk about or write about my childhood, the part of my life in which I have really enjoyed. It is my favorite part of my life that I always and love to reminisce.

My childhood life was just a simple life of a little child who loves to eat, play and sleep. But what I really love in that part of my life was the care, attention and mostly the love I received from those people in my life at that moment, and one of them is my grandma, whom I called Mommy Chie.

Mommy Chie was my ever-loving grandmother. The mother of my mom and the person who really cared for me in this part of my life, for the reason that both of my parents were still working at that time. I really enjoyed being with her. And one of the things that I’ll never forget on her was her ways and the food that she cooked for me. She also helped me in my studies and loves to fetch me at school. Those are my happy memories with her. But when she got ill and then eventually died, I really cried a lot. I never played nor ate regular at that time of her wake. I really felt bad and mourned about her lost but when I would always look back at the times we had, I was very happy.

And that’s my childhood, a part of my child life, mostly with my grandma, Mommy Chie. This part of my life was really worth remembering.

The Reason Why I Write

After 8 years that I started writing poems and essays that compose of reflections, reactions or just a sprout of an idea or inspiration, it was my first time to encounter a question given by Fr. Joel, sdb in our Creative Writing class. and the question was... Why do I write? That was really a question to be answered not as a compliance to the subject, but also to give reasons to what I've been doing for the past 8 years of my life. And also to give reason to my works before and until the future.

Why do I write?

Writing means a lot and serves a lot. Someone writes to inform, others to communicate and for some to entertain. But for me, I write for me to bring out that sleeping being with in me. The being that some people don't know about and they don't see on my daily interactions. And that being is the creative, imaginative and playful me. Its no monster but only a being, a serene being that is just underlying this external appearance of mine. Even if that being is not a monster or a hideous beast, it sometimes becomes uncontrollable when I am in anger, hatred or sad but tamable when I'm happy, contented or in love. That being also brings me, to my ideal world, to the world I think of,or even dream of. That was such a being who helps me in writing such poems and essays.

To sum it all up, I write... to express myself, to let out that emotions with in me. And also to feel contentment and happiness on myself as I like to my works. And I also write to entertain to make somebody glad. And that's my reason why I write.

A JOURNEY

11 YOUNG GUYS have met in 1 PLACE and chose to take a path and all of them take the same path – THE PATH OF RELIGIOUS LIFE. It was really a lonely walk at the beginning but as we continue the journey, we became friends and even to the extent of treating one another as BROTHERS. And in our journey, QUARRELS do occur. But the only thing that is always present in our journey is HAPPINESS which makes the journey easy.

But like all journeys, some chose to STOP WALKING and some already chose A NEW PATH TO TAKE. It was really hard to move on if you see one of your companion stop and tells you that he don’t want to continue anymore. But although some does not want to continue it anymore, THERE ARE STILL SOME OF THEM WHO CONTINUE TO TAKE ON THE JOURNEY.

Now, after 2 years of embarking this journey, there are still 8 GUYS who chose to continue the journey that will sure bring them to GOD, even with the hardships they experienced on the way – the rocky roads, the steep roads, quarrels and doubts. They still HOLD-ON to each other to continues this journey and mostly they always HOLD-ON to GOD for someday, they will finish that journey.

Options, Options, Options

We are living in a world full of options, of choosing what the best among others is.

A priest narrated this story in his homily, but the story is in the Filipino context:

Isang gabi inutusan ni tatay si Juan na bumili ng softdrinks.

Juan: ‘tay ano po Royal, Sprite o Coke?

Tay: Coke na lang!

Juan: In can o in bottle?

Tay: in bottle!

Juan: 8-ounce o 12 ounce?

Tay: 12 ounce na lang.

Juan: Cold or not?

Tay: Niloloko mo ba ko? Bilisan mo! Kahit ano na lang, kundi papaluin kita.

Juan: Tay, ano po walis o sinturon?

See how this world is full of options, even in beverages you have many to choose from. Among network providers for cell phone there is Smart, Globe and there is Suncell. And it’s a world really full of options.

Even children nowadays know how to choose from many options. They only think that it must satisfy their taste or give the fulfillments and joy. But as they choose in that king of thinking they’re only choosing not the best but rather the worst for them. They only think about the things that give them joy and suit their satisfaction.

And what are the parents doing? They are unaware of it, and let’s the children do what he or she wants to do. But they must guide their children in choosing. They must show them how to choose wisely and choose what is right. So the children will be able to choose the best and not the worst.

Yes! We are living in a choosy world, where choosing must be made daily. But as we choose, let us think if we will benefit from those we choose. And when we choose, let us choose only the best: that not only satisfies us, but also makes us content about what we chose.